Flailing in the Mud OR Loving Your Yucky Bits Too

Posted by: on May 29, 2015 | No Comments

muddy-pig-1432060-mMy son has a book about a tractor named Otis. Otis saves a calf who’s fallen into a mud pit. The calf is struggling to get out and the more he struggles, the deeper he gets sucked into the thick, sticky mud. It all ends well for the calf and Otis, but what about the rest of us who’re stuck in the mud with no friendly tractor to pull us out?

Because we’re all stuck in some mud. It’s the nature of being human.

Buddha spoke of it when he said that life is suffering. Maybe you’re sick, maybe you’re lonely, maybe you have a hangnail. Maybe your marriage is falling apart, maybe your children are driving you crazy. Maybe you’re lazy or broke or 4 pants sizes bigger than you want to be.

This is what it means to be human—to be imperfect in our own uniquely beautifully messed up ways.

So many people spend so much time and energy worrying that they are too __(fill in the blank)__. That if people only knew how _(fill in the blank)____ they were the shit would hit the fan. What would happen?

Would everyone really turn their backs and walk away? Would stones be thrown at your head? Would you be exposed as a breathing, sweating man or woman with bruises and bumps?

As somehow more truly broken or icky than everybody else?

We are ALL warty. Whatever you are worried about—that you are too _(fill in the blank)___—there is likely some truth to it…

…AND it is NOT the WHOLE TRUTH.

I am impatient. I can’t remember anything about history or dates. I get lost in the plots of complex movies and need someone to explain it to me. I snap at my kids. I don’t like the burn of an intense workout. ALL true. But I’m also loving, and funny and smart in all kinds of other ways. And so are you.

Sometimes I work with clients who fear that, on some deep-down buried level they are evil. And even that is partly true. We are all microcosms of the universe and bad/evil is part of that universe so it is part of us. It’s the yin and yang. It’s the whole gorgeous blob of sweet aliveness. But it’s an evolving universe, and unless you have a serious head injury or cognitive disorder, you’re evolving too. The definition of evolving is to develop towards more a mature, advanced, complex form. And when we use the brilliant consciousness we’ve been graced with as human beings, we can shine the light of mindfulness and compassion on even the dingy, stingy bits of our beings.

When we can stop writhing in the mud, we can quiet down. We see our muddy legs, the brown splotches of mud on our elbows. We see all our loved ones in the mud with us—and they’re splotchy too. They have mud mushed on their cheeks and in their hair. But we don’t hate them for it. We love them in spite of that wet, soggy dirt.

Maybe when you allow yourself to look clearly at yourself you find things you don’t like. That happens. But when we are seeing clearly, there isn’t a charge. It isn’t the end of the world; it’s just a little mud. So maybe we wash some of it off. We try to change what we can. But it’s not an emergency. It’s just growing into the next moment we’ve been gifted.