Who hasn’t been told to “Just Get Over It!”? Who hasn’t told themselves this when they’re not moving on as quickly from something as they’d like? A breakup, a disappointment, a rejection…
It’s a phrase that almost always comes from an invalidating place—I have clients who say this type of thing to themselves about experiences as intense as assault and abuse. The thing is, if we’re struggling with something—there’s generally a good reason. Either we’re trying to move on without the skills we need or there’s some learning or processing that still needs to happen before we can move on.
That being said–there are times when we are stuck in the comfortable familiarity of old unhelpful patterns and we need a little kick in the butt.
Here’s the key: what is your internal tone of voice? Is it centered? Knowing? Kind? Then it might know what you need. Maybe you’re ready to make a leap–to let go of something you’ve been holding onto.
Is it critical? Frustrated? Judging? Tell it to BACK OFF! Instead, ask yourself what you need to move forward one step. And if you don’t know the answer, meditate on it or ask someone who might know.
There are times to get over things and there are times to just let yourself BE. Learning to tell the difference can take some work but it’s the priceless work of coming back home to yourself.