Comparison Is a F*%cker

Just met with a client who’s felt all too well the ways that comparison–as Mark Twain so aptly said and I so aptly butchered in the title of this post–is the thief of joy.

Her kid is sick and everyone around her seems so shiny and happy and perfect. They seem better, somehow, or more right. They’re doing something she’s not.

It’s so easy to find ourselves in these places: where we are alone with our suffering and “insufficiencies.” Where we doubt our process; our style; our approach.

Social media feeds this because usually we post the pretty parts and only snidely complain about the down sides. We don’t get vulnerable–we hold close to our chest the hurting or the fear.

We all compare. Our cuckoo minds won’t stop. But we can notice.

Notice that the comparison is really fear or hurt or shame.

Remember the hidden hurts of others and how aloneness in this is an illusion.

Be gentle to you. Be kind to you.

“Life on earth is a whole, yet it expresses itself in unique time-bound bodies, microscopic or visible, plant or animal, extinct or living. So there can be no one place to be. There can be no one way to be, no one way to practice, no one way to learn, no one way to love, no one way to grow or to heal, no one way to live, no one way to feel, no one thing to know or be known.”
― Jon Kabat-ZinnWherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life